Still Here

I know it’s been a while since my last update. Things were pretty rough for a while after my dad passed away. The first three days were especially hard. I kept breaking down and crying. And not because my dad had died. We weren’t close. Didn’t have a good relationship. I guess I was mourning what I never had and that was he couldn’t be the father I needed.

And when he passed, no one called us. None of his supposed friends called us to see how we were doing or anything. They still haven’t. And it’s not because they don’t know. Right after my dad had passed, my whole town knew. It spread all over town very quickly my dad died. And the saddest thing is that no one cared. They still don’t. Or at least, they don’t care about my mom and me.

And I can definitely say this is a year of change. First with me and breaking up with Marc, getting with Victor and deciding to move to Texas. I have changed a lot this year and also, I have become myself again. I just couldn’t be myself with Marc although I didn’t realize it until after I broke up with him. But Victor noticed right away when we started talking again. He’s known me since I was 14. He knew how I was, but he noticed I wasn’t me anymore. But the more we talked, I started to become me again. And that’s because, with Victor, I have always been able to be myself. He’s always accepted me as I am.

Another change came with my dad passing away. Money-wise, things are still tough, but my mom is happier. I will say that my dad treated my mom horribly, but I won’t go into details. But at least she can finally live her life now.

And yet another change is that my mom’s friend Paula left her husband. Paula and her daughter are now living with us. And I’m honestly happy they are here. When I move to Texas in the Spring, I at least know my mom will have someone here with her.

Last month I booked my flight to Texas. I will be leaving on the 28th and I’ll be there until November 4th. It is only 12 days until I see Victor! I am so excited. It’ll be my first time taking a plane and traveling alone.

And now that I bought my plane ticket, I have begun saving for moving next year. I have been looking for the cheapest ways to move. Uhaul is expensive. So far, the cheapest thing I’ve found is to rent a minivan. But I think I will probably just end up flying there again and having my stuff shipped there.

I am just so excited to see Victor and I’m excited about moving too. More than anything, I want to be with Victor. He’s amazing and makes me happy. And I love him. He completely has my heart.

So I’m getting ready to move. I’ve been going through my stuff and getting rid of things. And believe it or not, I have actually gotten rid of a lot of books. I’m keeping ones I really want to read and ones by my favorite authors. I’ve gone through my clothes and some other stuff. I’ve got more things to go through, but I have done quite a bit already. The only furniture I’ll be taking is a few of my bookcases. I’m just gonna sell my TV, but I’ll be taking my stereo and guitar with me. Don’t want to get rid of those.

And I get more excited the closer the 28th gets. I’m a bit nervous about taking a plane and traveling by myself, but I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ve already packed my luggage. And I’ll be bringing my camera to take pictures. I’ll share some pictures on here once I get home.

Sorry I haven’t really blogged. I’ve just been busy with preparing to move and my online work because of saving up for my plane ticket. But now, I’m saving for moving so I’m focusing on that.

I hope you all are doing well πŸ™‚

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4 responses to “Still Here

  1. I’m so sorry that no one there cared…or reached out. 😦 That makes me very sad. 😦
    I’m so glad everything is falling into place for your trip ( πŸ™‚ ) and for your eventual move! πŸ™‚ You will do fine on the plane! πŸ™‚
    Keep us updated!
    We are excited with you and happy for you, and for Victor!
    HUGS!!! πŸ™‚

    Like

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