I know that I do sometimes talk about my parents on my blog or my boyfriend, Marc. I don’t really mention other family or my siblings on here. And there are reasons for that. Before I continue, I want to say that this blog is not meant to bash anyone. It is not meant to put anyone down, but it is simply the truth. It is what I feel and have experienced with my siblings.
Often, I feel like an only child. However, that is not the case. I have four half-siblings that are all older than myself.
I am my parents only child together. Both were previously married. My mom had one child, which is Ricky. My dad had three, David, Dan, and Laurie.
Ricky and I get along. He knowledges me as his sister and I feel that he does care about me. Unlike the others, he accepts me and I feel no judgment from him. Still, I know I wouldn’t be able to depend on him if I needed any help. I love Ricky, but he has many of his own issues and at this point, he can’t even help himself.
As for my other siblings. . . . Well, I am the product of something they never wanted. They never wanted our parents together. They don’t like my mom although she has never been anything, but nice to them. They have treated her horribly, however.
As far as how they treat me, they don’t even consider me their sister. They don’t want to bother with me, but yet, they want to know all my business.
And I remember for a brief time, when I was very young, David and I were close. It did not last long, though. He’d move out of the house by the time I was five.
Whatever brother-sister relationship we had was destroyed when I was around six.
After he had moved out, he didn’t visit and we didn’t hear from him much. But the year I was six, he and his then-girlfriend, went on vacation with us to the beach. It had been quite a while since I last saw him and so I wanted to spend time with him. I did miss him. He got mad at me for wanting to spend time with him and although I can’t remember what he said, I know he said some pretty horrible things to me.
Then, four years later, Dan sent our father a long letter sometime in early December. The letter was basically him complaining about how I got more gifts for Christmas than him. I was still a child then while he was a married man with two children of his own.
My dad was really hurt by that letter.
And for many years, even after all my dad’s kids had married and children of their own, he insisted on getting them gifts. David, Dan, and Laurie, as well as their spouses and children, got gifts, gift cards and my mom baked lots of stuff for them every Christmas.
But it was not enough. Each year it always got back to my parents how they were not happy with their gifts, how my siblings felt they weren’t getting enough gifts or gifts that weren’t expensive enough. And my family has never been wealthy or even middle-class. We’ve always been considered poverty-level.
Besides that, all three of lied about us.
And I know it might be hard to believe that family could be like us. But it is true and in all honesty, I have always felt on my own. I know that if I were ever in need, I couldn’t depend on any of them, especially my dad’s kids.
I know people always say you only have one family and it is important to stick together. What I have learned is that family isn’t always blood. Family is people who truly care about you, who love you and will stick by you.
And so many years ago, I made the decision not to have David, Dan, and Laurie in my life. I know some people may not agree with that, but I have to do what’s best for me. Having toxic people in your life isn’t good and I want people in my life who I can trust and who accept me.
But, I’d be lying if I said none of this had hurt me. Although it doesn’t bother me as it once did, there are times I wonder what it is like to have siblings who will be there for you, siblings you can count on and talk to about anything.
I’ve never had that, but that’s okay. There are people who love, who care and are there for me. And that’s all I need.
And while I have worked through a lot of the pain my siblings have caused me, I think this post was another way to continue to work through it. I find that writing it all out really makes me feel better and this really has.
I don’t know if anyone of you have siblings or other family like mine, but if you do, you are welcome to share your own experiences.